Love

Love is something I crave on a daily basis along with affection, affirmation, and appreciation. I am not in a place in life where I can appreciate or reciprocate any of those things in a romantic relationship as I should, but that doesn't take away my need for them. I remember crying a little too often at the beginning of the school year because I felt a lack of those things....I hadn't fully reconnected with my friends and I decided it was best to let some people go who were unfairly filling some of those roles in my life. However at this moment in time I am alone on a coach in my parents house, a place I used to hate for the loneliness it caused, feeling completely surrounded by love and the three A's.

My mother was telling me a story today about how she and her husband got into a large fight on their anniversary in part because of me...my mom was fighting for my comfort and her husband was being stupid. The subject matter really wasn't a big deal except my mom knew it was important to me, so she fought for it. (Jim had exchanged my bed for one of our friend's bed because that friend wanted a smaller bed. He thought I would have no attachment what so ever to the room and furniture I painstakenly put together in my room this summer so the house would feel more like home for me which I did for my mother.) the fact that she cared so much over a tiny thing really made me feel loved.

Also, truth be known, I have come to rely on my sisters so much. They are strength and support. They are loving arms to hold me while I cry and to protect me when I most need it. Not to mention they allow me to love them, take care of them, to pour into them, and be affectionate without excepting me to jump in their beds--like boys do. (....ewww, gross)

Okay, so I may have come to rely on my guy friends a bit too. They are brothers, confidantes, strong protectors, and drinking/zombie killing companions. They are the ones, coughjosephcough, I know who would beat someone up who mistreated me and who will try to scare away any other non-brotherly male attention. They also fill my need for male affection and attention in a brotherly way that I love because 1) its awesome and 2) again it prevents me from having to jump in anyone's bed. (again, ewww...gross).

I've very much enjoyed spending Thanksgiving with my family here in Gulf Shores, but I feel like I've missed having it with other members of my family...the members of my family that crowd around emerson tables with me and knock on my door at night to check up on me and who essentially take care of me on a weekly basis whether or not they know how much I need them.

Okay, so enough of the gooshy stuff... hrumph, guts, and mustaches (and other non-sappy stuff)!