Tuesday, October 25, 2011

To hurl or not to hurl.

...that is the question. My stomach hurts and I feel like I should throw up although I know the physical pain I'm feeling will not be relieved by emptying my stomach....that would only work if I had food poisoning which I don't. I also know that taking medicine won't help the tight feeling in my chest that almost feels like a heart attach except the pressure is on the wrong side of my chest. So basically, everything is in my head and I don't know what to do or how to make it go away. On the upside, I went to class today and only cried twice? throughout the day. Yay, go me.

oh, you're wondering what happened? I got a message on facebook last night from by biological brother. I'll copy and paste it for you right now:
" I have thought long and hard. Is having a relationship with you worth the memories that that entails. Talking to you is like trying to smile after stepping in dog shit. No. I don't need you in my life. You have forfeited your right to be involved in my life through stupidity. Good bye."

Now, I don't blame him. Hurting people hurt people and I still love him and although I don't really understand, I kinda do. But that doesn't make my sadness and pain any less because I love my brother and I feel like I've fought to keep him in my life. But I'm glad he is doing what he feels is best for him and I only hope that he is happy and well and continues to be so.



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