Phone Calls

My dad would be proud of me tonight. I was talking to one of my friends who expressed fear over the uncertainty in her life, what to major in, what to do after college, and all that jazz. Although I cannot remember her exact phrasing, she mentioned being something of a rambler, someone who never settles, for the rest of her life. I told her something my dad always told me: “life is a journey not a destination.” I used to tease my Dad all the time for kicks and giggles, telling him that life is a destination—it’s death.  While talking to my friend I used my Dad’s wisdom to encourage her that although the unknown future ahead may be scary because it is unknown it is okay to not have one place in mind where you’ll end up. It is okay not to have a five-year or ten-year plan that ends at a specific place where you want to be. THAT would be living for a destinations which isn’t what life is about, or at least I do not think that is what life is about. Life is about, well, living and growing as human beings and learning to love one another to the best of our abilities. My Dad would be proud to know that I was sharing his words of wisdom with someone else as well as agreeing with his words myself. I love my Dad very much and I am not to grown to admit that I need him in my life if only to text me and call me saying that he loves me and hopes I have a good day. I need to hear his perspectives and opinions on the thing in life I experience. I need his wisdom and I need to tell him what is going on in my life. My mom called me the other day after class letting me know my Dad had checked into the hospital again because of his heart. Around my birthday last year my Dad was really sick with a respiratory (I think upper) infection. After being sick for a while his heart started to act weird in a really bad way and Dad finally had to go to the hospital. I’m not sure if the doctors ever figured out what was wrong with his heart, but dad thinks it was the medicine he was given for his infection that caused it. Well my Dad is no longer taking funky medicine and his heart is acting up again. It started beating in normal rhythm this morning which is a good thing though I can’t help but be worried. I guess I’m just worried that he is going to leave me when I still need him. Though I am telling myself that he isn’t going anywhere anytime soon I can’t help but to think that if he is going away I want to spend as much time with him as I can. The problem is I’m so far away and I think he would be really upset with me if I left school. With thoughts of my Dad in my head I can’t help but to be grateful that life is a journey instead of a destination because  I don’t want my Dad to reach a destination as selfish as that may be.