Richard Hodges

There is always a debate going on about what to tell you. There are so many things I want to tell you though none of them together create a “blog.”

I apologize for the less than lovely writing that you have been reading—I normally write on my phone and cannot edit what I write on my phone because my phone will not let me. As someone who would like to be a writer I recognize that only writing about one thought per blog would be an exercise that would increase my writing ability.



I love my dad so very much and truly cherish the time I get to spend with him. Maybe the fact that I only see him only a hand full of times per year makes the time when we do sit down and talk more productive and just that much more special. Yesterday he and I met for breakfast and chatted for two hours in which he dealt with the fatherly issues he felt he needed to address, listened to me basically defend explain myself, and gave me some really great advice on life. A part of conversation was devoted to a person we both knew, someone who we felt was unwilling or unable to acknowledge a part of themselves. I expressed my disbelief that despite the use of clear logical arguments the person still refused to admit that in her situation if Y=Z and Z=X than Y=X must be true. Being the narcissist that I am, I couldn’t help but wonder out loud to my father if there is something about myself I refuse to admit to myself and others, but is clear to everyone else. Dad said, “We probably all have some aspect of ourselves whose existence we deny to the outside world as well as to ourselves.” He continued on to say that those things we refuse to admit can be either bad or good though he could think of nothing of the top of his head that I deny about myself.

My self-centered curiosity preoccupied my thoughts for most of the afternoon and I think is a tangent of my slightly obsessive interest in what my friends think about me and discuss about me outside of my presence. It isn’t that I’m completely concerned about being badmouthed or disliked, I just hear others speak of other’s flaws behind their backs but never bring it to their attention so the flaw can be fixed. I think I would try to fix a flaw if someone lovingly brought it to my attention—I’d actually rather do that than just aggravate all of my friends.

The phrase ‘be careful what you listen to because you just might hear something you don’t want to know’ comes to mind.