Day 117.

There have been a surprisingly large number of ideas appearing in my head lately that seem perfect blog topics. Although I have had three or four today about Pokemon, using a dog to cheat at hide and seek, and other strange occurrences, I think I'll choose to share the most morbid one with you. Well, some call it morbid and/or dark, completely inappropriate for polite company, but I find this topic, death, fascinating in a non-suicidal type of way. the pain associated with most deaths frightens me for I am not by any stretch of the imagination a fan girl of pain; however, death itself doesn't seem to bad. It seems like a fantasy journey to a mystical land, one big adventure that holds great potential and fun. More specifically, I have been lately more thoughtful and interested in one's, people in general and my own, living and last will and testament. After hearing The Band Perry's beautiful song via FM radio on the way home from baby sitting, now seems as good of a time as ever to write both my living will, which I have meant to do for quite some time, as well as the other one people fight over so much after a rich person dies. Breaking into this account wouldn't be that hard for any computer savvy person, so needless to say this won't be much a legal document though at least I will have left instructions for someone if they really want them and/or if they can find them...... (Because I totally advertise this blog a lot.....) Anyways, here you are world:

Living will: I do not want to be a vegetable lying around helpless, with little or no brain function. If you refer to the above paragraph you will notice that I am okay with dying so if for some unfortunate accident I am on life support and the doctors think there is little chance of reviving me, please let me go, pull the plug--I promise I will not hold such a merciful action against you. If I have lost my mind and my body is naturally fading, please let my body go without any heroic efforts to revive me. I will ask for the same treatment if my mind is in its proper place. Do not hesitate to use the double-effect with morphine or any other pain relieving medication. I AM afraid of pain and would like to not experience it if that is at all possible unless that pain is helpful existential pain..... While this short and vague living will may not guide a potential plug-puller in all situations, hopefully it can give him or her a good enough idea of my wishes to assist them with their difficult decisions. 

Last will: Firstly, I have no money so any greedy persons, yes you, interested in any money I may have can stop reading at this point. (If in the odd case I do ever gain money, I'll come up with a later plan as what to do with it. It is not now an issue.) If the person in charge of my funeral is short on cash, please, just cremate me and put me in a cheap jar, let it be done simply. I frankly don't care if you throw me to the wind, dump me in the water, bury my jar in the ground, or give me to waste management. If by any chance a coffin can be arranged, which I must admit I would slightly prefer, DO NOT let the stupid funeral home stuff me full of chemicals and DO NOT purchase an expensive or metal coffin. I would very much like to look dead, be chemical free, and be placed in a wood coffin that would dissolve into the ground and allow worms to crawl through my eye sockets. (I won't be able to use them, so why not let the bugs?) If I am buried and you would rather not bury me naked, I would prefer to wear a white summer dress, no wedding dresses or stripper attire please. Underwear is optional, I won't really care though if I were to croak over right now I would say go without underwear......to much of a hassle. Not to be picky or anything but I would like pearls around my neck and my Sigma badge pinned on my dress. No shoes, please. I also do not see any reason for anything special to be done with make up or hair-- I don't like doing either now, so why when I die? I honestly do not care where I would be buried, marked or unmarked, but just that I could dissolve into the ground and be beneficial to plants and bugs. Psalms 23 should be read. Everyone should be told that I loved them even if I left them with angry words. All other details should be filled in to soothe anyone I may have left behind. (if someone didn't want to be left behind they could always drink the Flavor-Aid, but I would advise you that life is worth living. Water taste better anyways.) I hope there would be an after party of sorts with lots of assorted, pot-luck food where those who wanted to could mourn and everyone would remember me and then move on into healthy, productive, and loving lives. 

That is it :)