Day 114.

You know what would be funny? If my numbering was wrong even if i thought it was correct and I didn't discover it till March. It rained this morning/afternoon for the first time in a long time, making the sky look mystical with a mixture of sunshine and seemingly violent rain clouds. I know it is strange, but although I seem so sure about myself, the things I want, and the world, I'm never quite sure what I like and what truly scares me. I geuss, I'm eithe incredibly unsure, fickle, or my tastes and fears change often...or the could change gradually and I just don't notice it.... I'm not sure. Anyways, I've always adored sunshine, but my taste for rain and overcast days as flucuated from the extreme of hating it to loving it and every preference in between. ( I remember disliking rain when I was happy and liking it when I was in a lot of emotional pain and when I wanted to go hiking. The smell of the earth after it rains is my favorite smell of all time...or at least for now.) Anyways, today I like rain, thunderstorms, and everything included when the sky feels and looks like it is breaking....though maybe not the sound of loud, abrupt thunder. So, I was rushing home from work so i could grab money and purchase my gym membership before the gym closed when I saw the sky in its stormy glory and it took my breath away. You see, it wasn't just raining, it was storming, but that isn't all the sky reflected. Half of what I could see was the sky's mirror of depression or deep hurt and the other half was sunny, a reflection of pure happiness. Of course with the two extremes came everything in the middle and it was beautiful. Not to sound stupidly clique or anything, but it reminded me of life, full of both pain and happiness, often in the same day or in the same instant, yet extraordinarily beautiful. i liked it and-- again another silly statement-- it made me appreciate life in general a little more, actually a lot. I like living and I am happy to be.


I wish i had a picture of that sky to show you.