Day 104.

Yes, this is late being posted, but rest assured, I am writing it on time. I left Gulf Shores today for Panama City Beach where my dad lives because it is Father’s Day and if I had crazy ex-wives, two biological children, and two former step children, I would want at least one family member around me. I also made the three hour trek that turned into four hours because of horrible traffic because I truly and honestly love my dad. I may be a former step-daughter, but I am and will always be his daughter. On my way over to my Dad’s I stopped at my grandmother’s house which was on the way about 45min into the drive. I am not the best granddaughter in the world to a woman who helps me financially with school and life quite a bit, but I try to visit and/or talk to her frequently. My grandma is nice as far as grandmothers go and she is really good to me for the most part. It is difficult to talk to her when she starts talking about how she doesn’t have any daughters, that she had them but they were so horrible she disowned them. You see, my mother is one of those disowned daughters. I’ll go ahead and say that the two women had a falling out in which they were both wrong, but I doubt if either can fully recognize that. It would take a miracle for them to talk to one another again, the kind of miracle that only happens on a death bed. I’m pleased to report that my grandma is doing well, very well, though I wish she would slow down a little bit with things in general. She and I had a nice chat. After I left her house and before I got stuck in miserable traffic, I started thinking about how things are cyclical— how there is life in death and beginnings in endings, but also death in life and endings in beginnings. I think learning things happen in cycles is a hard lesson for people to learn and that it is interesting that while our whole loves are circles, the earth, if you were to take a cross section of it, would be a circle. The very thing that is our physical life source is a circle. (Now, I know there may be a smart person who would say we don’t need the earth to live and that may or may not be true, but just accept.) I actually thought about something a lot cooler with my cyclic thoughts, but I forgot it. Maybe I’;; remember tomorrow.