Day 54.

Writing here every day is a bit more difficult when my computer doesn't work.
I woke up this morning with my mom asking me if I had seen the news. I don't watch the new s while I am at school and I told her as much though I'm sure I have told her a many times before. She used to watch the news everyday first thing in the morning while she got ready...so the television would be on for an hour or two at least. I guess that is how she found out about it first thing this morning. Apparently there 128 people died last night from tornadoes and over a hundred more have been injured. While neighborhoods have been flattened and all the trees in Caitlin's brother's neighborhood are flattened. When my mom told me that this morning, my thoughts went first to Caitlin who lives in troy and then Andrew and Cece who live in Tuscaloosa. Then I thought about all the people I know who live in Tuscaloosa and northern Alabama. I really hope everyone is okay. Funny thing is that I fell asleep hoping people in Georgia wouldn't be hit very hard for the storm...I thought it has left Alabama. Last I heard right before I fell asleep was that it was going to pass right over the NE part of Georgia, where Thomas' family lives. People die every day. I'm sure more than 128 people die every single day in this dangerous world of ours. (well, people say it is dangerous, though I don't feel like I live in a dangerous world.) Even though death is not an unusual occurrence, natural disasters that kill people still shock me. The closer to home they are, the more shocking they are too. I guess it is because I can better relate to the suffering when it is closer. I remember cleaning up homes that hadn't been washed away by Ivan, but had been completely washed out. Going through my friend's house with them trying to salvage dishes and pictures, watching them see everything that everything they owned was completely ruined with filthy muck and water. I understand how it feel to those families who are now looking at their flattened homes wondering how they are going to rebuild, wondering how they are going to afford it and what will they do with their families in the mean time. I wish I could do more for them than praying for them and hoping that construction prices don't inflate and that they all have places they go and stay and ways to provide for their family. Apparently, Obama said their was a state of emergency in AL if I read the news report correctly. Hopefully that declaration will be helpful though I can't think off the top of my head how helpful it will be. Morbid as it may be, I can't help but wonder what those 128 people were thinking before they died and while they were dying. I wonder if they knew what was happening. I wonder if they were thinking about something the regretted doing or something they regretted not doing. I wonder if anyone of them had had a horrible fight with someone they loved right before dying or if others had simply relished in their love for one another before they died. I wonder who was alone and who was not, who was frightened and who calmly thought the storm would pass violently overhead without touching them. I wonder which of the 128 were loved and which were hated, and even worse, which ones nobody in the world cared about enough to even think about. One never know what is going to happen any second of their life, no matter how carefully it is planned. You just never know. I was lying in bed this morning thinking about that and the people who died and, although  it is sad that I should think of something so silly, how I cannot manage to post faithfully here everyday. My blog causing me to think of how it forces me to number my days which is something I need to be reminded of. I need to be reminded that my time here is limited, that I only have so many days, and that I don't know when my time will suddenly be up. I really don't want to die being angry at anyone or having them be upset with me.

Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry. - Ephesians 4:26