Day 4.

Tonight was the first fullish rehearsal of The Vagina Monologues by Eve Ensler, only two nights before the heartfelt show opens. Auditions were a while ago, I don't remember when. But since then, well actually before than, since I first read the monologues, I have grown in ways I never thought I would. Over my short life span, I have made a conscious effort to not really think about my vagina, to put off thinking about it like I was putting off any type of a sex life. Well, in my effort to delay a sex life till I thought it was right, I put off thinking about my vagina. When I was reading the script, I was forced to think and acknowledge some things I hadn't before, but I was also given the chance to agree with concepts that were previously foreign and alien to me. In my audition, I was asked to yell CUNT as loud as I could. That evoked quite a interesting response from those lingering outside the audition room. Words that I didn't use very often, because of their suggestive and lewd subject matter, became proud new members, devoid of negative connotations, of my vocabulary. My view of my and other women's bodies changed-- I'd say for the better. I've really enjoyed that challenge of memorizing lines-- once a foreign concept to me--, becoming someone else, taking multiple (and sometimes confusing) corrections, and expanding my mind beyond the comfortable bubble I live in. Now, if only I can finish a paper, earn an A+ B- on a Spanish test, spend time with my mom when she comes up, improve my own monologue, and most importantly, sleep. I'm going to study now, good night.